Those Winter Sundays -Robert Hayden

얼마 전에 알게 된 미국 시인 헤이든의 시이다. (사나이 심금을 울리는!) 

그러다 우연히 포크 밴드 Sun Kil Moon(Mark Kozelek)의 신보의 한 곡이 떠올랐다. 먼저 헤이든의 시이다.

FROM : http://www.poetryfoundation.org/learning/guide/177415#poem

Those Winter Sundays -Robert Hayden

Sundays too my father got up early

and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold,

then with cracked hands that ached

from labor in the weekday weather made

banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him.

I’d wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking.

When the rooms were warm, he’d call,

and slowly I would rise and dress,

fearing the chronic angers of that house,

Speaking indifferently to him,

who had driven out the cold

and polished my good shoes as well.

What did I know, what did I know

of love’s austere and lonely offices?

---

여기서부터는 Sun Kil Moon의 "I Love My Dad" 란 노래다. 두 작품 모두 '아버지'가 사랑하는 방식을 담담하게 그려내고 있다는 점이 눈에 띄었다. 두 작품의 아버지 모두 자상한 모습과는 거리가 멀다. 헤이든의 시에서는 "chronic angers" "austere (love)" 라는 표현에서 암시 되듯, 오히려 과묵하고 자식들에게 마냥 편안하지만은 않은 아버지의 모습이 연상된다.  코즐렉의 노래에서도 그의 아버지는 자식 훈육을 위해서라면 손찌검을 하기도 하는 그런 아빠이다. 다만 헤이든이 좀 더 우회적으로 아버지에 대한 (뒤늦게 깨달은) 사랑을 표현한다면, 코즐렉도 어느새 자신도 누군가의 아버지가 되어 아버지를 사랑한다고 직접적으로 말할 뿐이다.

"I Love My Dad" from <Benji> (2014) - Sun Kil Moon

I Love My Dad - Sun Kil Moon

When I was young my father taught me not to gloat. If I came home too proud of myself I get wrestled to the floor and choked. But I forgive him for that. He was an eighth grade drop out and I was being a brat. I forgive him, I do. I know that he loves me and he knows I love him too.

When I was young my father told me, to each his own. The lady said as she kissed the cow, some like the fiddle, some like the trombone and I live by that rule. Your trip is your trip and my trip is my trip too. Yeah, I'll mind my own business. I'll have an O'Douls and my friend here will have a Guinness.

I love my dad. (x4)

Your kid goes to the private Berkley school with one black kid. My kid goes to the public school, came home with cracked ribs. And when my kid's eighteen he'll be out there like I was and probably chasing his dreams. And when your kid's twenty-two, he'll have an internship at a law firm and hey that's okay too.

When I was five I came home from kindergarten crying cause they sat me next to an albino. My dad said son everyone's different, you gotta love em all equally. And then my dad sat me down, he said you gotta love all people, pink, red, black, or brown. And then just after dinner he played me the album They Only Come Out At Night by Edgar Winter.

When I was young my dad taught me the beauty of patience. We'd go and hang with his friend Billy Brislin all day in his Stubenville basement. We'd watch wrestling matches on TV and Billy couldn't move cause he was handicapped. And I learned to shoot the shit, and how to care for those in need and to show respect.

When I was a kid my dad brought home a guitar he got from Sears. I took lessons from a neighbor lady but it wasn't going anywhere. He went and got me a good teacher and in no time at all I was getting better. I can play just fine. I still practice a lot but not as much as Nels Cline.

When I was young my dad told me to pay gossip no mind. When people talk bad on you you gotta flick it off your shoulder like a fly. Learn to pick your punches, don't get no tussles, dead in ditches. Life is short young man, get out there and make the best of it while you can.

I ain't trying to say my dad was some kind of a perfect saint. When something set him off, I hit the floor quicker than what Mike Tyson did to Ricky Sveen. I hit the floor so fast, but that was so long ago and we both moved past. My life is pretty good, I owe it to him. My dad did the best he could.

I love you dad. (x4)

<COPYRIGHT BELONGS TO THE ORIGINAL WRITER, THE LYRICS HEREBY PRESENTED IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES>

+ 문성길(Kill Sun & Moon?) 밴드의 새 앨범 <Benji>에 실린 가사들은 모두 개인적이고 진솔하기 그지없는 (그래서 심지어는 구질구질하게도 느껴지는) 모습을 담고 있다. 가사를 보다 보면 피식 거릴 때도 있고, 너무나도 솔직한 표현들로 인해 오히려 그 의미를 한번 더 되새김질 하게 만드는 때도 있다.